Time? Standstill?? Never...

Well.. I was just wondering, how good it would have been if we can stop time... When I want to sleep late, I keep the alarm switched off, and at times, I even go to the extend of taking the batery off my clock so that it would stop ticking and will not remind me of the times ahead which I am afraid to face.. But, there are certain moments in life, which can always be brought back to reality just by closing our eyes for a moment or so. Have you ever tried that and seen those images for yourself? Someone crying onto your shoulders, holding onto a dear ones hands tightly, and those moments of boredom while sitting with friends might then have seemed to be an eternity, but now is a loving memory.
I spent my time last week with people whom I love(considering the fact that I have been tolerating nearlt 4 years of hostel life), and each moment which passed by is still clear in my minds eye... I would have loved to hold onto those moments forever, but fortuately or unfortunately (I dont know which one), it is not possible to do that. It has become a memory now, and howmuchever I cherish it, I can never go back and experience it all over again. It was the 'present' of the 'past' and all I can do is to wish for more such happy days.
And talkin about that, isn't every moment which passes by supposed to bring happiness to us? Why do we have to take everything seriously and not lightly? When I write that sentence and someone reads it, they wil say, "Wow.. Lets try doing that", and when I actually tell the same thing to someone, they will glare at me, and when I put my words to action and actually start taking things lightly, people wonder why am I being so kiddish... well... aren't we all supposed to be like kids??? If not, then I hate the fact that I am a grown up.. :(
God.. where did I start and where did I end up? See, this is the miracle of time. U never know where it will take you, and once you are there, at this moment, there is no goin back, you can only look back...
Let me dwelve into those moments behind me, and let this moment go by me...

Colours of darkness

Does darkness have colours? I was wondering about this when I was lying down in my hostel room yesterday, having nothing to do other than reflecting my own thoughts. I could see shadows lurking behind me, and when I wanted, I could even see then before me, beside me and everywhere I wanted it to. I could assign faces to empty patches in front of me...
Well.. I could just see whatever I wanted to. Isnt that really fascinating? the colours n faces in darkness.... it reflects what I want it to... maybe its a scientific phenomenon since black is a color that has all colours in it, and the light can disperse it to specific components... maybe, but am not sure....
when i am happy, its happiness that I can see, and if I miss anyone, I can see them, next to me. when I am sad, I could cry into it, and it was as if there was someone listening to whatever I wanted to say, and comforting me, and I now find in this, a very good friend, someone I can always rely upon...

A 'scrap'??

Smile.. like you have never smiled before... coz life is waiting for u!!!!
Well.. i started writing this when i came across one of the scraps in my Orkut scrapbook... it was from some unknown friend, asking me whether i am a happy person. Needless to say, the question striked odd to me, and I answered it in a very diplomatic way saying that happiness depends upon how a person decides to look at it and that its entirely based upon his perspective. But this rather curious 'friend' (Im inclined to call him clever!), asked me to give a direct answer. and then, as you can very well imagine, i said that im of course happy (Come on, im a googler. how can't i be happy??). I thought he would stop it right there, but he didn't, he proceeded onto his next question. How happy am I?.. Come on, it does look easy, but hey, hold your reins before coming to that conclusion... its not that easy. How happy am I??? How do I measure happiness? N I told him that precisely, that I dont know to measure happiness and that I have never wanted to do it, either. The reply was prompt, like always, he said it depends upon those wishes in my life which others knew nothing about and still came true. That would give a measure of quantity of my happiness.. well.. rather absurd, right? But believe me, I have never ever pondered over a scrap for so long as this one. Each time I read this, I see it in a different light. I started wondering whether its all true. I started thinking whether Im really happy. Something which I dont usually do. And know what? The more I thought about it, the more I felt that Im unhappy. I(and you too, of course!) can easily find reasons for unhappiness in anything and everything. But is it really about what we search for. Its about what we find na. There is this really interesting saying by who else, the great Winnie the Pooh, "Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called... Isn't that wat happiness is all about???
Yes. It is... N its about reaffirming oneself, and looking beyond all abnormalities, and saying to oneself "I AM HAPPY!!!"