I, Me, Myself...

I have been in another country for 15 days now. And it has been a totally different thing for me. Before coming here, I thought I might not be able to take it at all. Not being in another country, but the fact that I will not feel the adrenaline rush that the working-lady in me used to experience . But surprisingly it hasn’t been all that bad. I realized much to my surprise that am not a bad cook after all. In fact, I can even make it taste good. I can read books and watch movies whole day, and even bug my husband to take me out for long walks in the evenings. But something was still missing. No, and am not talking about sprint and scrum – something more than that which I was not able to recognize.

And when this chore of going to post office came up, I wanted to back out, just like how I would have in Bangalore. Just that it was for a different reason this time - I was scared. And even more so to accept it. The new surroundings and way of life had got me. And I was desperate, to break open, to break free…

As I got ready, I dropped the plan many a times.  I was not sure of the bus routes, and everyone who knows me well that road sense is something God totally forgot about when he made me. The thought of my hubby who did not let his fear show upon his face and trusted in me when I volunteered for this drove me this time. I was determined to make it. And I stepped out of the house, alone, for the first time since I came here.

As I walked to the bus stop, and got into wrong bus not just once but twice, my confidence level was more like our economy – shooting right down. But thank goodness, I had a friend on the other side of the phone who tried to help me out of it with google maps. My confidence boosted again. And at last, I boarded the bus, paid the amount right and even picked out the right pamphlet with the bus route and timings. As you can guess, I was already feeling better.

I got off at the wrong bus stop(which I ofcourse didn’t know then)  and walked nearly 2 miles and found no post office (‘no surprises there’, I can hear you say!). Thankfully my map-reader was still over the phone and I realized that I will probably get back home walking the way I did then, but definitely not the post office. This time, I was not scared. I just had to make up my mind and make use of the good one hour I had before taking the bus back home. Talking about maps, work and life with her, I walked all the way back to where I got down and sat down for a coffee at McD.

There was a ‘Walmart’ nearby and I decided to spend my time there. And after my exploration where I actually found some stuff we needed for our home, I set off.  I was right on time for the bus and made absolutely no mistakes and got down at the right point. The elated me made calls to my hubby and my friend to announce that I had got back safe. I am not really sure if they heard the pride in my voice, but I definitely heard the sigh of relief in their voices J.

This was most definitely not a Herculian task. I had gone in search of a post office, and had not found it in spite of walking a few miles in the hot sun. But I still feel triumphant. I feel  good, I am no longer scared. I have taken the first step and am sure that I can make my way. I have found me – I, me, myself…